A+ Solutions

Fun ways to promote literacy in the summer

Hooray! Summer has arrived, the sun is shining, and our children are eager to partake in all this wonderful season has to offer. Over summer break opportunities for language rich experiences are abundant as well as the good fortune to refine social relationships. We know that children, especially those with learning difficulties, can lose academic progress over the summer and therefore summer reading practice is imperative. Summer is also a perfect chance for parents to inspire the love of reading. I would like to encourage you not to impose strict rules, set reading times, and predetermined reading lists. I challenge parents to keep your children engaged, excited, competent, and ready to learn by utilizing some of these helpful tips.

  1. Let your children pick the books they would like to read. Take trips to the library often or head to a museum to gain inspiration.
  2.  Don’t focus on the grade level or “age appropriateness”. If your child is excited to pick up any book. Encourage it! You can always expand on any topic with discussion or internet “research”.
  3. Model for your children. If you enjoy reading, they will too! Find a spot in the park or cozy up on the couch and read together. For older children, read the same book they are reading and discuss sections together or answer questions along the way.
  4. Real world reading practice is easy and fun. Point out road signs, billboards, decode price tags and item descriptions, and discuss menus together.
  5. Help your child connect to what they are reading by offering hands on exploration. For example, if your child is reading about nature, you might explore various kinds of indoor and outdoor plants at a nearby nursery or visit the Cleveland Botanical Garden.
  6. Have your child read along with an audiobook. This will take a certain amount of pressure away while keeping their attention and focusing on comprehension.
  7. Explore online reading apps that help with reading fluency, comprehension, and vocabulary. Check out this list for some ideas. 15 Apps to Support Reading Comprehension
  8. Create a book club with friends or host a book swap party.
  9. In addition, summer intervention and tutoring is available at A+ Solutions. Please consider this option if your child has more complex needs or if their literacy skills are more than one grade level behind.

I hope you will have found this list both encouraging and helpful.

Happy Summer!

Helen Wolf MS, CCC-SLP
Speech Language Pathologist

Struggling in School: The Dangers of Academic Pressure: 6 Ways To Let Go

Pupils are writing in their copybooksParents have always wanted children to have a good education. However, our generation has taken it to a new level. There is a tremendous amount of pressure on parents to help their children succeed academically. Getting our kids into a “good” college seems to be on everyone’s minds these days without any thought on how this is affecting our kids.

The pressure we put on our kids to succeed in school can be very stressful to them. Children are more anxious and depressed than ever before. The real problem is this, children feel judged by their parents instead of supported. They think, “I feel like my parents will be disappointed in me if I’m not as successful as they want me to be.” It is also creating a lack of internal motivation. Kids think, “My parents worry so much about my homework and school work, why bother worrying about it myself?”

Children who are not able to succeed in school for whatever reason, will have to deal with the problems they have in school and with the feelings of disappointing their parents. This can cause children to feel even more discouraged and compromises their ability to learn.

What can we do as parents to help alleviate our kid’s stress?

  1. Relax (like your parents before you):

My parents were pretty laid back about school. I don’t remember them ever bothering me about homework. I think they even once said, “Forget homework, go outside and play.”

Because of that, I have never gotten so uptight about schoolwork with my kids. I highly recommend this attitude. It actually helps kids act more responsibly about their work. Kids think, “Hey, if my parents aren’t bothering me about this, then they think I am capable of managing my schoolwork myself.”

  1. Research has proven that you can relax:

We all know people who were awful at school and still seem to be successful at life. Actually, I can think of many friends, relatives and acquaintances who never succeeded in school but have become outstanding in their given professions.

So, this should not come as surprise but, research has proven the number one predictor for success in life is not your IQ. It is not how well you do in school. We do not need to push our kids to succeed academically. The true measure of success lies in character building, not academics.

  1. Be happy:

Successful adults are the ones with a high level of optimism; a positive attitude is what gets you ahead in life. A strong social support system, and an ability to see stress as a challenge and not a threat is also invaluable.

Research has also shown that character can be taught. Parents can teach this to their kids. Modeling is the best way to teach your child. Children with good character traits are usually the kids who see these traits displayed by their parents. We, as parents, need to make sure that we have an optimistic outlook, we have cultivated a strong social network, and that we can effectively handle our own stress.

4. It is not all about school:

The human brain needs constant stimulation. We need to help our children find and cultivate their interests. Learning is not just reading and math, it is understanding nature, collecting bugs, mastering a new dance move, attempting to learn a new sport or a new instrument.

This might take some trial and error to find out what interests your particular child. Maybe its piano lessons, photography classes, karate workshops and art and crafts projects. Trying new things will help develop your child’s intrinsic desire to learn.

  1. Love them:

Children need to know that they are loved for themselves. They need to be cherished and valued for their natural abilities and strengths. Promoting their interests in areas that they love and areas that come naturally to them to will help them shine. We cannot underestimate the power of being our child’s biggest fan and supporter. We need to say, “I love you, no matter you’re your grades are.” When parents foster their child’s strengths, children learn to be positive, they feel supported and they are better able to handle stress.

  1. Foster a true love of learning:

 As mentioned above, learning can be done in so many different ways and we need to foster a true love of learning that is not dependent on how well we do in school.

I often tell my kids, “It doesn’t matter to me how well you do you in school, it matters more that you find something that you like and enjoy about what you are learning…”

We want to share new things that we learn with our kids and we should often say, after reading an interesting newspaper article or book, “I love learning new things, this is so interesting what do you think?”

Finally, try to have interesting (but still fun!) dinner conversations with your kids, discussing current events, family news and latest scientific discoveries. Playing word games, like scrabble and Bananagrams as well as Sudoku are also forms of learning and they are fun. Vacations are also great ways to make sure you are fostering a love of learning, learning to rock climb as a family, collecting shells on the beach, visiting cool Museums or historical landmarks are all learning opportunities.

Pressuring our children academically is hurting them. Let’s help our kids learn what is truly important in life.

8 Parenting Tips for Effective Communication With Young Children

Good ParentingA+ Solutions Director of School Psychology, Courtney Evenchiks shares her tips on effectively communicating with your child.

Effective communication with your young child occurs when the language you use changes from parent-centered to child-centered. Sometimes, we just need to change a couple of words around in the sentence that makes it just so much more effective.

Here are 8 sets of phrases that will help you put your child in charge of their feelings and actions and improve the solving of conflicts.

 

  1. Change if then to when then:

 

   “If you put the blocks away, then you can get the play dough” becomes:

 

“When the blocks are back in their container, then the play dough can be    used.”

 

  1. Use an open-ended question like: I wonder what would happen if, when your child is trying a new or challenging task.

 

“I wonder what would happen if, you moved the puzzle pieces around to see if they fit.”

 

  1. Change, I’m so proud of you to you must be proud of yourself.

 

“At the dentist you sat in the chair and let the hygienist clean and polish your teeth, you must be proud of yourself.”

 

  1. When transitioning from one activity to another one use as soon as you’re ready, I now you will­­­­­­­­­­___________. Or use in a little while.

   “As soon as you’re ready, I k now you will get into the pool for lessons.”

 

  1. Instead of saying, you can’t play with this, state what you expect in a positive way.

 

“I see you are looking for something to do. Here are some puzzles and    some cars.”

 

  1. When responding to a child’s worry, use the phrase though you know

I see you are disappointed we didn’t go to the store, though you know     we will go again.

 

  1. Change why can’t you? to I see you have

 

   “Why can’t you be quiet? When you children pester you, becomes:

 

   “I see you have a lot of questions right now.”

 

  1. When you need a time out from your children instead of saying, you’re driving me crazy, say:

 

 

   “I need a little time for myself, now.”

 

This list was taken from Who’s the Boss by Dr. Arthur Lavin and Susan Glasser and contributed by Courtney Evenchik.

 

Friendship Fundamentals: Building Social Skills For Teens

>We had a great program last month at Friendship Circle. Our speaker, Anna Fredman, MS. CCC-SLP, spoke about Friendship Fundamentals: Building Social Skills for Adolescents.

Anna discussed social skills topics and techniques specific to older teens
The first topic was Theory of Mind.

Theory of mind:
• Is the understanding that another person’s thoughts, feelings, and knowledge may be different from one’s own thoughts, feelings, and knowledge
• Typically develops by about age 4
• Develops later (or not at all) in children with autism or social pragmatic communication disorder
Theory of mind affects the…
• Ability to empathize with peers
• Ability to understand peers’ unspoken signals
• Ability to carry on conversation
• Ability to take another perspective

Children older than 4 or 5 who have not developed “theory of mind” may require explicit teaching. These children need help taking others’ perspectives and understanding that someone else’s feelings and thoughts may differ from their own. When we help these children develop their theory of mind, we help them lay the foundation for successful interactions and, ultimately, friendships.

There are many different techniques to teach social skills related to “theory of mind”. Here is one exercise:

“What I think versus what I say.”
Children with weaker social skills may say exactly what they are thinking without understanding that this might hurt another person’s feelings.

With this exercise, children learn that “What I think.” and “What I say.” are sometimes the same, but not always. For example, if a child receives an invitation to a classmate’s birthday party at an ice skating rink, he might be thinking, “I hate ice skating; it’s dumb.” It might be acceptable to say this to his parents at home, but there would be negative social repercussions to saying this out loud to the classmate at school. Instead, he might learn socially acceptable alternatives such as, “Thank you for inviting me, but I won’t be able to come.” ‘

Another example:

A child might think, “There is no way I am ever going to wear this sweater my grandma just gave me!” Again, in this case, the child would need help taking the theory of mind perspective and understanding that these words would be hurtful to the grandmother. In such a case, it would be better to simply say, “thank you.”

Another topic of the presentation was Implied Messages. Children with social language deficits often struggle to understand the underlying meaning of social discourse when it is not explicitly stated. Students can be taught to consider not just the words but the message that someone is trying to send with their words:

How “Catch Phrases” Make Parenting Easier

Screen Shot 2017-02-15 at 12.35.06 PMWe all want to parent our kids in the best way possible. We want to be kind, loving and firm. Yet, so often, our parenting seems to happen in a blur. We are tired, our kids are tired, and then we say the wrong thing and then you find yourself embroiled in a power struggle, yelling or just totally exasperated with our kids.

 

I find that sometimes it helps to have “catch phrases” at my fingertips. Phrases that I can use often and in all situations. Here are some of those phrases that I find to be so helpful:

 

Phrases to help discipline your children:

 

“I am sure you didn’t mean to…forget to wash the dishes.”

“This is so not like you…you are usually responsible about bringing in your bicycle.”

 

These phrases help your child save face. It is hard to listen to criticism; this allows them to hear you and still believe that they are intrinsically good. It also helps us as parents. When we stop to say, “I am sure you didn’t mean to we actually start to believe it. Kids generally don’t misbehave because they are doing it on purpose to get us angry. They make mistakes or misbehave because they are kids and they often don’t know any better. In this light, our children’s transgression shrink to normal proportions. It calms us down and then we can then discipline effectively.

 

Phrases to Promote Peace:

 

“Our family strives to support each other.”

“Teasing hurts feelings.”

“Hands to yourselves!”

“You have the superior capacity to be kind, use it!”

“Six people living in the same house, six different personalities, six different people wanting six different things, it can be tough…”

 

I find these phrases to be invaluable because there is nothing more frustrating or exhausting then when your children are fighting. It is at those times that I find I want to just get in the fray and yell along with them. Instead, I try to use the above phrases, which help me stay and sound sane. They are also mini mission statements about how you want your children to conduct themselves with each other. Do they work to stop the fighting? Not always, but it does help me stay calm.

 

 

 

 

Phrases to deal with disrespectful behavior:

 

“I know you know how to be respectful…”

“You can change your tone to be more respectful”

 

Kids are usually disrespectful because they are angry about a limit that you have set, they are disappointed and take it out on you, or because they are just downright cranky. Again, they are not out to get us angry. When we use these phrases, we show our kids we know that they have it in them to be respectful and they can turn their negative behavior around. They also help us stay calm and not sucked into a power struggle.

 

Phrases that help avoid accusations and blaming:

 

“We are a family that focuses on solutions…”

“We don’t accuse we focus on solutions…”

 

Oftentimes when they milk spills, the dog hasn’t been fed, or the back door has been left open, we can get pretty upset with our kids. It doesn’t help to yell, accuse or blame. We just need to get our family to focus on solutions: get a rag, feed the dog, and close the door. This phrase helps us move past the anger and straight to solving the problems. I find these especially helpful because I have a tendency to dwell on what has gone wrong instead of just fixing it.

So there you have it! Great phrases to help you parent kindly, lovingly and calmly!