Teaching Children To Be Responsible For Their Schoolwork
We started off our talk, discussing how difficult it is for children when they feel pressured to excel at school.
When parents get stressed about their kids’ schoolwork kids react in a few different ways:
1. They might become unmotivated because they feel, “Hey, if my parents are worrying so much, why should I worry- I will let them take care of my homework and schoolwork…”
2. Children may feel judged instead of supported in their academic growth. They become fearful about making mistakes and have a hard time taking risks when they learn. They won’t ask questions, request clarification if they don’t understand the lesson or even raise their hand in class.
3. There are children who have independent personalities, they don’t like to be controlled. They resist any type of parental pressure. If parents are uptight about their schoolwork then they will rebel, they will not do well in school to prove a point. Power struggles will ensue.
4. Then there are the children who are really struggling, who can’t do well in school, who flounder in an academic setting. Not only are they having problems in school, they are now disappointing their parents as well. It is a double edged sword.
We spoke about relieving some of that pressure on children by fostering a love of learning, helping children develop positive character traits and help children feel good about themselves. We also spoke about helping children to look within themselves to find solutions to their common everyday problems associated with school.
To do that we can ask them the following questions:
“What do you think you can do to keep your bookbag organized?”
“What is the best time for you to wake up so you can get to the bus on time?”
“Where is the best place for you to do your homework?”
“What are some helpful ways to remind you to pack your lunch?”
This is instead of commanding them to:
- “Clean out your backpack. You won’t find anything in that mess!”
• “You need to hurry up. The bus is not going to wait all day for you!”
• “Do your homework now!”
• “How many times do I have to tell you to pack your lunch!”
When we ask children questions instead of commanding them:
• we help children be accountable for their actions.
• we encourage children to be in charge of their possessions, their time and their schoolwork.
• we avoid power struggles and create good feelings between parents and kids.
• we help kids feel capable and dependable- resilient
They may think, “Hey, if my Mom/Dad is asking me what I can do to be a part of the solution, they have faith in me that I can handle my own problems.”
Want to learn more?
Call A+ Solutions@216-896-0111
Nelsen, J. (2006). Positive Discipline. NY. Random House.